GHOSTING: in intimate relationships.

What is Ghosting? In an intimate relationship, it is the practical act of abruptly ending or withdrawing from the relationship without explanation. It is a form of domestic abuse that delivers a silent message: “I don’t see you because you are invisible or non-existence in my life.”

Ghosting is a brutal, emotional abuse because the victim is, in slang language,”Left Hanging”.The victim might, in some cases, have an idea where this silent hostility is coming from, but conversation rights are denied. The abuser uses GHOSTING to prove who is in power and control regarding communication in that relationship. A clearer message says, “There is no room for negotiation. I do not recognise your presence , nor do l have the time for you.”

Other methods of ghosting in intimate relationships are when the abuser refuses to answer a phone call or a text and does not bother to leave a message at all, e.g., “I will call you back as soon as l can.”

Ghosting is also a silent method sometimes used by victims who feel their lives are in danger. They might feel they have exhausted all safe means of communication, and disappearing is their only safe way out of the relationship. The victim will stay as far away as possible from the abuser and remain unreachable on the phone. This has its valid reasons as a safe escape by one partner avoiding physical or verbal abuse from their abusive partner.

Ghosting emanates fear in a home environment. The abuser’s silent message is, “I can ghost you and still live with you !” This is a form of psychological abuse in intimate relationships.

TIP:-It is very, very important at the dating stage that partners discuss how they will resolve any possible future disagreements. Ghosting early on is a sure red flag of an immature and self-centred potential abuser. Beware of its psychological and emotional dangers to your health in the future should you choose to continue with the relationship.

If you think you are facing ghosting in your relationship, please seek help. Get in touch with the DVA Team @ Kwig.e.u We are there for you! You can also seek professional help from other social services.

Content Written by: Charity Wairimu Ngugi Latz: Community Manager & DVA Team Member @ Kwig.e.V.Community Reporter Köln and DVA Activist & Blogger.