How can you sniff out a Narcissistic partner to be, and they become allergic to you, so you do not have to go through all the damage and trauma trails they leave behind after they are through you as an intimate partner? The answer lies in the fact that you have to sniff them out. But, first, you have to understand what makes them tick.
How do you do that? Consciously set your boundaries. Whenever anybody crosses that boundary, no matter whom, Spell it out in black and white and say “No!”. Do not brush it off. Do Not give a Narc the benefit of the doubt. Do not make up excuses on their behalf that maybe they did not mean it or are having a bad day. Remember that it is their problem and not yours. It is also not your fault. Your steadfast love and values for yourself are allergic to solid boundaries they can not handle. Narcs can not take too much fight to get what they want without lying, so you become a no go for them.
1. Trust Your Inner Gut. It is your God-given shield of defence. All Mammals have it when they sense danger. They either bark, growl, snarl, bite or take off. Learn to watch out for that look in their eyes, especially when they think you are not looking or their body language. Never disclose your observations; they are your potential tips. In an argument, try to be more logical than emotional by listening to understand what they are saying and not saying. One tactic Narcs are fond of is GASLIGHTING, a hazardous tool of abuse. Read the Blog on this website on it. If that feeling of some unexplainable fear or doubt persists, Trust your instincts. If a Narc makes you doubt yourself and you think you are going insane, seek help. You can get away from their demonic hold by taking an early exit or contact us at dva team @kwig to get some advice. Do not entertain a negative description of yourself by a Narc. Instead, speak affirmations of goodness to yourself, e.g.”I am made in the image of God and loved by God”, and truly accept it for yourself. Recognize and admit they are fake and dangerous. Seek help if you know you are in deep trouble, for this will help you get support and select services available solutions and make you allergic to the Narc in your space.
2. If you are a go-getter, have high self-esteem, love your life, fashion, beauty, dancing, singing, cooking, sports, career, etc., Narcs will first pretend to embrace you wholly and shower you with praise and gifts. However, it is only a matter of time before they start criticizing your lifestyle, your dressing code, your friends and family and your happy, jolly outgoing way or reserved way. When the uncalled-for criticisms begin, take a warrior stand. Let them know you are not about to replace you to become them. The character of a Narc; (intimate partner abuser) is to gain control and maintain power over their partner. They target specific persons who supply them with what they want. They hate sharing and love themselves highly. They must shine; their targets are their vampire source, financial, social status, beauty, material things or whatever. A good example is they tend to drive the relationship very fast and in high gear. They can move into your home and control everything and everybody in that homestead. They will want to know what you are doing, with whom and where you are 24/7. Single mothers who are living alone and economically independent are potential victims.
3. Do not give too many details about your past, present or future to a new person. Your story is what Narcs use to strategize their control over you to steal your joy and your wealth. They need your details and will use your sad stories in the future to abuse you emotionally and financially and recycle them
Next topic: “Recycling Toxic Abuse in Some Relationships.”
Content Written by: Charity Wairimu Ngugi Latz.
Community Manager @ kwig.e.V: Charity Wairimu Ngugi Latz.
Team Member domestic Violence & Abuse@kwig.e.V.
Certified Community Reporter Köln.