“Gaslighting “is a dangerous technique commonly used in all abusive relationships. Domestic violence and abuse (DVA) is universal. It can happen to anybody regardless of age, gender, race, social status, religious affiliation, sexual orientation or financial-economic status. Under DVA, the abusers are current or ex-partners,co-living partners, dating partners, parents, siblings or relatives living in the same homestead. Gaslighting is a form of psychological and emotional form of abuse under DVA. Gaslighting aims to convince the targeted victim that their perception of the abuse is inaccurate. As a result, the victim becomes very confused, and they begin to doubt how much of what they saw or heard is accurate. Their sense of reality becomes foggy, and they question their sanity. How does this work?
There are specific frequent phrases the abusers use after an abusive outburst:
“You provoked me.”
“You are too sensitive?”
“I never said that.”
“You are putting words into my mouth.”
“You are taking things too seriously.”
“Are you sure you are okay? You need to see a doctor about your mental status.”
What is the purpose of all this? The abuser wants you to think that the abuse is all in your head, your fault, or it never took place. As a result, most abusers will shift from an angry look to one of worry and act as if they wonder how you can be accusing them of the abusive acts.
It is a dangerous, psychological manipulation, and its principal purpose is to control the victim and have total power over their life.
In the following week’s articles, as we unmask the many “Gaslighting ” tactics, we will first examine the different stages of domestic violence leading to the climax of full-fledged domestic violence and abusive relationship.
Note: The Abusers will often remark about your emotional instability, your issues, your valid complaints making them invalid, and turn the tables against you by blaming you and making it all your fault.
It is psychological and emotional warfare.
Content compiled and written by Charity Wairimu Ngugi Latz: DVA Team. Community Manager Kwig.e.V.Community Reporter Köln.